Warning signs of coercive control

by Clare Murphy PhD on February 1 2012

I wrote a blog post Warning Signs of Coercive Control by Your Partner for the Home & Family Counselling organisation’s Blog to give women some pointers about warning signs of coercive control by a male partner.

Clues to warning signs that you’re in a relationship that is highly likely to continue to get worse – exist on many levels – including . . .

Things your partner thinks, says and does
Things you think, say and do in response to his attitudes, words and behaviours
Things other people observe and tell you about that they see going on – or that other people don’t see it or get it
Your feelings
Your fears

To read about the warning signs click here. If you’re isolated, or silencing yourself, or just don’t feel safe to be your authentic self – it’s totally ok to seek help from an organisation or a person who UNDERSTANDS family violence and the dynamics of power and control. If you ever seek help and the organisation or person do not understand or make you wrong or minimise your experience – it’s a very good idea to continue to seek support from a safe place that CAN and WILL support you.

Tagged as: Tactics, Warning signs

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My Comment Policy

On this website I am writing about, and from, the perspectives of my Masters research, my PhD research, and related experiences in my consulting work.

That means I am currently discussing two main issues:
1. Heterosexual men who perpetrate emotional abuse and control against their female partners, and
2. Heterosexual women who have survived these same behaviours.

In New Zealand about 92% of all applications for protection orders are made by women.
Police records, crime surveys and hospital records show that men’s intimate partner abuse against women is far more common than women’s abuse against male partners. Research shows similar patterns world-wide. Women are more likely to experience repeated ongoing abuse, and greater levels of fear than do men who experience violence by female partners. Research from USA shows that women are seven to ten times more likely to be seriously injured by their male partner than men are by female partners. These high numbers reflect the imbalance of power relations embedded in our social structures.

The issues of fear, harm and the ongoing repetitive use of power and control are vital factors that have to be taken into account when considering the issue of who abuses who.
I write blogs to explain the ‘ins and outs’ of gender issues, including international statistics and I shall be adding more as time allows.

I know that men living with female partners experience physical, sexual and psychological abuse, as do men and women living with same-sex partners. In due course I will write from these other perspectives.

Meanwhile, I will not accept any comments, or other communications, pointing out that this website is biased in this regard.